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I make milk thing - guvaua powder - milk tea - keep in fridge and use sometimes for caffeine spike - have to eat and drink lot of water to stay awake
I realized today that I don't feel sick, just sickly. Like kind of weak and unfocused(honestly everyday). But it only appens during day time. At night I get all my stuff done. I think in the day I should drink caffeine or stay in bed. Overextending myself (which i kind of have been) during the day could get really bad. Anyway it is winter so it's better to conserve energy. I just hope that I don't get too stressed out because then it might get worse, but I have medication. Also I tried to do the VR desktop but it did not work and i didn't have to time to find why. Wow what a great blog where i complain about health.... i usually write these right before i go to sleep so this is usually all I have energy to think about? whatever
I only have a quest 2 headset because it was cheap. Having a huge monitor sounds like a good idea and being able to look around the space is interesting. Briefly putting on VR for a small break helps breaks my focus away from work for a bit so its pretty refreshing (it feels like going outside for a break, which sounds sad. but it works). Just having big monitors is kind of ok. Being able to walk around the screens is pretty cool. uh...． idk. Cool input device
With work today there is quite a lot of pressure. When I talk about it the pressure goes away, but it does not make the work go away. Pretty much all the pressure is used towards work instead. That's why I don't really talk about work. Except here but it is in a abstract context, so it's ok.
I still haven't found the best way to sleep. There is a lot involved and I am usually too tired to make my bed
properly or my head starts hurting again and I have to put pressure on it.
When I do make my bed I usually put a very large pillow I can lean on as a center support. I have to sleep on my
side because of back pain so having a big pillow helps me stay straight. To support my shoulder I usually put a
pillow or plushie under it. From that I have a pillow for my head and neck. This can be the most difficult part
to get right. I try to lean back a little bit so my my shoulder or neck do not hurt. My neck hurts more so it is
probably not healthy. For my legs i usually put a pillow between my legs so my back stays supported. Finally, I
put a weighted blanket down and maybe another blanket if it's needed.
The quality of my sleep is confusing. If I feel better or worse I rarely know immedaitely.
Usually when I have poor sleep I feel ok for 5 hours, and then I become very tired. Sadly, most days I have to
sleep in a bad position that puts pressure on my head to make headache better. I have not found a better way to
do this. I never feel tired or awake. At least I do not have nightmares
Being alone a lot of the time makes it so when i interact with other people it feels very strange. How I focus most days completely changes after that
when I'm alone I can usually focus better but i don't know what the expense of this is. I can focus better, so feeling lonely never felt like a issue. but that feeling when I meet other people makes me think that I am doing something wrong. maybe there are issues that are more serious that I can't see when I'm alone? is it worth it?
But im pretty sure i can have healthy relationships while focusing. They are not mutually exclusive
I was going to talk about something but it is kind of sad so I didn't want to.
Right now I am extremely tired. But I'm not going to sleep.
Sometimes feeling tired doesn't make me want to go to sleep. I feel like I just ignore it even though my thoughts get slower and I make more mistakes.
This is usually because I do all my work really late at night so everything is kind of crammed to the end of the day. This is honestly not healthy at all
but that hasn't stopped it from continueing. In the long term this is probably not sustainable but it can be fixed, so whatever.
Anyway, things are changing, and that's all I care about.